


Mixed Emotions

by flugantamuso



Category: Weiss Kreuz
Genre: Humor, M/M, preslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-10
Updated: 2010-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-06 03:18:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flugantamuso/pseuds/flugantamuso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagi's life is hell, it really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nagi and Schuldig

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters 1 to 3 Nagicentric, 4 to 6 Omicentric.

Nagi had spent seven years on the street, three years after that in Rosenkreuz, and none of it had prepared him for living with Schuldig.

Schuldig was prone to picking up the thoughts of those around him, especially when he was asleep, and Schwartz lived in a large apartment building, which meant that Nagi had become used to waking up to cries of, “Goddamn you, Ferdinand!” and “Oh baby, faster, harder!” Not that Schuldig didn’t also say such things when he was awake.

Then there was school. It was bad enough that Crawford had to bring Schuldig to every parent-teacher conference, bad enough that Schuldig had to seduce every one of Nagi’s teachers, including the unnaproachable Shichiro-san. But to stand before his class during personal sharing time and find himself saying, “My greatest ambition is to be more like Schuldig” was not even remotely funny, especially with Omi doing his best impression of a startled fish at the back of the room.

His revenge would be great and terrible, and it would have to be fast, because if the looks he was getting from the teachers was any indication, he was about to get sent to the counselor’s office.

The counselor would again ask him about his homelife in compassionate tones that invited the disclosure of shocking and dirty truths. Three weeks ago, in an act of petty revenge, Nagi had given the man what he wanted and told him that Schuldig was sexually molesting him. He had been kept awake the night before by Schuldig’s continuous and monotonous whistling of “A Winter Wonderland.” He claimed that it helped him concentrate on his current assignment, but Nagi was certain that he was only doing it to drive Nagi up the wall.

The counselor was still spluttering over the revelation when Schuldig and Crawford burst through the door. Crawford threw a glare at Nagi, and Nagi looked at the floor mutinously.

At least Crawford got compensation for putting up with Schuldig, and Farfarello’s room was soundproofed. Actually, Crawford was also at fault, because it was just as often Crawford that he heard at night as it was Schuldig. Sometimes they went at it in two-part harmony, and Nagi didn’t really need to be thinking along those lines, certainly not with Schuldig grinning at him from three feet away. Shit.

He kicked the desk in front of him grumpily, just as Schuldig said, “You’re just pissed because you’re not getting any.”

There was a strangled gasp from the hallway and Nagi looked up to see Tsukiyono Omi frozen in place, watching them. He sunk lower in his chair. This was another reason why the combination of Schuldig and school was a bad idea. Really, Schuldig and _anything _was a bad idea, but Schuldig and school was a particularly loathesome combination.

Nagi had only agreed to attend school in the first place because Crawford had pointed out that if he stayed home he’d have to put up with Schuldig twenty-four hours a day. As an alternative to _that_, school seemed like a wonderful idea, though present circumstances were proving that to be a lie.

Nagi wished desperately that he could be normal. Well, not normal enough that he’d lose his telekenesis, but normal enough that he wouldn’t have a Schuldig in his life. As normal as Omi, maybe, and granted, Omi wasn’t normal either, but, hey, no Schuldig, no Farfarello, no bloody Crawford. Living with Weiss must be a paradise compared to living with Schwartz.

On parent-teacher days Schuldig would drag Nagi down the hall, past Omi and his glowering, but normal escort, and he’d feel incredibly jealous. Schuldig usually picked up on that, because then he’d be completely asinine during the meetings, flirting like mad with whoever was in the vicinity and calling Nagi his nettes baby. Nagi almost preferred Farfarello during these meetings, though Crawford had stopped bringing him after he repeatedly called Nagi a devil child.

Omi blushed bright red, mumbled something that sounded like an apology and walked off hurriedly. Schuldig waggled his eyebrows. “Well?” he said, “Aren’t you going to go after him?”

Nagi was up like a shot. Given a choice between staying with Schuldig and Crawford while Schuldig wiped someone’s memory and having an incredibly awkward conversation with Omi, he’d take Omi any day. He could just see Omi turning the corner now.

“Wait!” he called, and was relieved to see the boy stop and turn around. “What you saw back there, er….”

What he meant to say was that it was just another shining example of Schuldig being an ezel (he’d learned to swear at Rosekreuz, but Schuldig had greatly improved his vocabulary) and that he didn’t really enjoy living with all the crazy people, and he could just really use a friend who only swore in Japanese and didn’t have noisy sex at all hours of the night, or tease him mercilessly about his occasional dirty thoughts.

But what came out was, “I hear you’re in the photography club?”

Omi brightened and began to tell him about various kinds of lenses, and by the end of lunch he was being regaled with tales of Omi walking in on Yohji and Yohji’s date. So Nagi told a few of the tamer stories he had about Schuldig’s annoying habits.

When he got home he had to deal with Schuldig’s knowing snickers, but it was totally worth it.

The next day he woke feeling like crap, and for once it wasn’t because of Schuldig’s sexual antics, raucus German music, or Farfarello’s tendency to scream his head off at all hours of the day and night. He’d caught something from somebody at school yesterday. Of course Schuldig caught that thought and sent a very naughty image of how he thought Nagi might have caught something.

“You kusotare,” said Nagi hotly, “we did not!” and if he’d had the strength he would have thrown something heavy at Schuldig, but he was too weak to do anything but make the flour that Schuldig was pouring fly towards his face. Schuldig avoided the flour easily and laughed.

“I know you didn’t, nettes-Nagi, but you _wanted _to.”

See, that was why Nagi didn’t like Schuldig. That thought was supposed to be _private._”

Schuldig was making cookies, and because Schuldig’s cookies were usually not fit for human consumption, Nagi was supervising, watching from the couch to make sure that Schuldig didn’t include mustard or pepperoni, or chicken salad.

Schuldig’s cookies were _awful_, but at least they were safer than Farfarello’s. Nagi had once made the mistake of biting into one of Farfarello’s cookies. He’s not sure what was in the middle, but he thinks it was a body part that he’s never wanted to be in close contact with, not in that context anyway.

Nagi must be sicker than he thought, because he’s actually thinking that it’s a little sweet of Schuldig to make him cookies.

And then Schuldig makes Nagi lie down with his head on Schuldig’s lap, and reads to Nagi from ‘Einsames Hertz’ Sex Manual.’

This is as normal as his life ever gets, and Nagi, five different types of drugs running through his bloodstream, plus whatever was in that powder that Schuldig dumped in his juice, thinks that this is okay, this is bearable, this is _his_, and with that thought he falls asleep to Schuldig’s nasal voice describing how to have sex in an airplane without breaking any bones.

**Chapter two teaser, Nagi and Crawford**

Schwarz kidnaps Omi to ask him about his intentions towards Nagi. Nagi’s blood vessels almost explode, as do Aya’s—“Why did Schwartz kidnap you again?”


	2. Nagi and Crawford

You couldn't really say that Nagi had a relationship with Crawford. Crawford told him to jump and he jumped, or he didn't and got shut in Farfaello's room for the day. After the first time that happened Nagi jumped _really fast_, and he's only not jumped a handful of times since then.

Crawford is cold, precise, logical and not what anyone would call a father-figure, but he is also the controlling element of their team, and occasionally he borrows a sense of humor from Schuldig.

That is the only possible explanation that Nagi can think of to explain the scene that greets him when he walks through the front door two weeks after the incident in the counselor's office. Either that, or Crawford is getting a whole lot more creative in his punishments.

Crawford is leaning against the refrigerator, arms crossed, looking even more stern than he usually do. Schuldig is standing in the doorway to the living room, a positively gleeful look on his face, which is never a good sign, and only serves to remind Nagi that he hasn't had his revenge on Schuldig for the ambition thing yet. Between them, in a chair at the table, looking nervous, is Omi.

For a moment Nagi just stands there with his mouth hanging stupidly open, and then, blood rushing to his head, he rounds on Crawford, intent on delivering the angry speech on the absolute insanity of his so-called parental unit that has been building for weeks. Unfortunately Schuldig takes this as an opportunity to dig into Nagi's head and start making snide remarks about Nagi's subconcious awareness of how hot Omi looks right now, and Nagi is so busy swearing at Schuldig's invasive presence that he almost misses Crawford saying, "This isn't something you should be involved in, Nagi. Schuldig, take him to Farfarello's room."

_That_ registers, and Nagi just has enough time to utter a weak, "What?" before Schuldig is dragging him down the hall.

Nagi is confused. He can understand why Crawford wouldn't want Nagi around for whatever it is that they're doing (it might, after all, have nothing at all to do with the subtle passes that he and Omi have been making at each other all year), but to lock him in with Farfarello...his mind is plaintively whining that he hasn't done anything _wrong_, at least, not since the incident with the school counselor, and he already got punished for that.

"Don't worry, klein-ein," said Schuldig in his mind. "I'll give you a running commentary on what's happening.

Nagi wanted to respond that he didn't entirely trust Schuldig's point-of-view, so the commentary would be mostly useless, but if he said that then Schuldig wouldn't tell him _anything_. From Schuldig's sudden snort he'd heard the thought anyway.

A few more steps and Nagi was being propelled into Farfarello's room. The locks were open, so Crawford must have anticipated his arrival. Farfarello was in the corner, wrapped in his straightjacket and thankfully asleep. Nagi sighed and slid down the wall, listening to Schuldig lock the door. From long experience he knew that trying to open the door with telekenesis would only result in a headache (Schuldig's doing, no doubt), so he wrapped his arms around his knees and mentally demanded that Schuldig begin the commentary already.

There was laughter in his head, but it was interrupted by Crawford's voice. Ah, this was better than Schuldig's usual idea of commentary.

"Tsukiyono Omi, it has come to my attention that you have engaged in a relationship with Naoe Nagi." He said it with emotionless calm, but Nagi, used to Crawford's minute expressions, could hear the slight distaste beneath the words. It made him flush.

Omi's voice followed, sounding stronger than Nagi's would have been in similar circumstances, but a lot quieter than he usually was. "That's not exactly how I'd phrase it."

Nagi's pathetically hopeful little heart did a skip and a beat, but Schuldig's voice quickly chimed in, "That's not what he really thinks!"

Nagi had a horrible moment where he thought that Schuldig had said it _out loud_, but Crawford was droning on, and he didn't hear anything else from Omi, so he assumed that Schuldig was only commenting on what he thought was relevant to Nagi. It _was_ relevant, and Nagi would have been grateful if Schuldig hadn't just nearly given him an aneurism.

"It is nonetheless, how I would phrase what I see devloping."

Nagi longed to ask Crawford if he was discussing the present or the future; you never knew with Crawford. Crawford, however, made it a point never to discuss his teammate's futures with them except as it related to their safety, to the success of their mission, or to his overall plans for the future of the team. If Nagi were to ask Crawford about his future, Crawford would only raise his eyebrows and politely ask Nagi to pass the bacon. It was almost as annoying as Schuldig's tendency to leave his dirty laundry on the kitchen table.

"You understand," continued Crawford, "that that could create a situation where Nagi's loyalties were conflicted."

Nagi actually hadn't considered that; he tried to keep what he was at school--quiet, good student, occasional friend of Tsukiyono Omi--seperate from his identity as an assassin. It wouldn't have occurred to him that Omi might one day be able to claim his loyalty, because the Omi of his mindset didn't belong to his world as an assassin, and it was Nagi-the-assassin's loyalty that Crawford needed.

What Nagi had successfully avoided until now, what Crawford had brought crashing down on him, was that Omi had his own assassin-world, and one day that world would meet Nagi's. Crawford was ending his and Omi's relationship before it had even begun, for the good of the team, and Schuldig was letting Nagi listen in so that he understood why it had to be done. Nagi understood, but it made his head hurt, and he wished that Schuldig would just cut the conversation short. He'd heard what he needed to, to make him hear any more would just be cruel.

Schuldig hummed soothingly in his mind. "It's not so bad, klein-ein, just listen."

So Nagi listened.

"It isn't my intention to compromise Nagi's loyalty to you," said Omi. "Our friendship has nothing to do with our teams."

"I know that, but I also know that eventually you will meet in your professional capacities, and I question whether either of you will be able to do your duty under those circumstances."

From the silence over the link Nagi knew that Omi was absorbing Crawford's words, coming to the same conclusion that Nagi himself had come to.

"Can I at least see him before we end it?"

"You misunderstand, I'm not trying to split you up."

He wasn't? Nagi was confused, he'd thought that he knew where this was going. A little thread of hope wound it's way around his heart, pulling painfully tight.

"Nagi's relationship with you could save his life, or it could cause him to lose it. I'm trying to prevent it from doing that by directing it before it's out of control."

"What do you want me to do?" Omi sounded as confused as Nagi was.

"I want you to be honest with your teammates, tell them about what you feel for Nagi before you engage in a relationship with him. If you hold secrets from Weiss then the team will self-destruct, and Schwartz has a use for Weiss; it's why we haven't destroyed your team before."

The silence dragged on and on, and Nagi had a sudden vision of Omi talking to his teammates, their shocked silence, then Aya saying carefully, "_Why_ did Schwartz kidnap you again?" He didn't think that they'd kill him, he didn't _think_ that they would, but it still wasn't a comfortable thought.

Finally Omi said in a faint voice (perhaps he was also thinking of what Aya would say), "I'm not entirely clear on your reasoning, but I agree," his voice becaming progressively stronger, "that keeping secrets from my team is a foolish idea, and I'm glad that you don't plan on interfering with Nagi and I. Having said that, I'd like to remind you that however much you see, and whatever you think that you control, Nagi's life is his own."

Nagi scrambled to the door, "Schuldig! Let me out! Crawford is done, let me out now!"

Schuldig's laughter echoed in his head. "Take it easy klein-ein. Crawford may be done, but I haven't even started!"

"Oh no!"

But Crawford was speaking over Nagi's protest. "A most satisfactory answer, and as a reward, Schuldig will discuss _his_ concerns with you."

This couldn't be good. Given the usual path of Schuldig's thoughts it would probably be about--

"I'm here to talk to you about sex."

Yes, there it was, and as much as Nagi disliked Schuldig talking to _him_ about sex, he dislliked it even more when Schuldig talked about it to _Omi_. Schuldig hadn't the right, and Omi shouldn't have to be subjected to Schuldig.

"You have to understand," said Schuldig in a voice that sounded far too reasonable for a person of such questionable sanity, "that Nagi is our baby."

It was hurting Nagi's brain to imagine being Crawford and Schuldig's _baby_.

"He's our baby, and he hasn't had his first time yet."

Nagi closed his eyes in humiliation even though there was no one there to see but the sleeping Farfarello.

"Neither have you," continued Schuldig, and Nagi had to scramble his thoughts to realize what Schuldig was saying, why Omi was making funny choking noises in the background. What? Oh, _oh_.

"Because neither of you has had sex before, you're going to need some instruction--"

Nagi's horrified thoughts were apparently matched by Omi, who quickly interrupted with, "We've actually already had sex education in school."

But of course Schuldig was not to be deterred by such irrelevancies. Schuldig was as unstoppable as a tidal wave, as inevitable as the onset of winter. "Crawford and I have decided," he continued, ignoring Omi completely, "that I'll talk to you and Farfarello will talk to Nagi."

Nagi had a moment of complete blankness, and then he thought, Farfarello? _Farfarello_ was going to teach him about sex? he simply couldn't wrap his mind around the concept, and in desperation he reached out for the conversation, hoping that something said would explain what was going on, but there was only silence. "Schuldig?" he asked tentatively.

"This isn't for you, klein-ein," Schuldig replied. "Now just pay attention to what Farfie tells you and you'll be fine." And then he was gone.

Nagi swallowed and turned to the corner where Farfarello sat in his straightjacket, his one golden eye focused on Nagi.

**Teaser for Chapter Three, Nagi and Farfarello**  
Farfarello gives Nagi _the talk_.

"Now, I know that Schuldig was explained sex to you, probably in some detail, but you've yet to have your first time, and crawford wants me to talk to you about how it will be."

"You mean that Crawford chickened out of doing this himself, don't you?" said Nagi.

"Of course," said Farfarello.


	3. Nagi and Farfarello

For the first four weeks that Nagi belonged to Schwartz Farfarello had been the most terrifying part of his life. Nights had been the worst, lying in his bed knowing that when he fell asleep he wouldn't be able to protect himself with his telekenesis. Crawford usually locked Farfarello up at night, but as Nagi quickly learned, that didn't mean that he'd _stay_ locked up.

Then Nagi pissed Crawford off and got locked in with Farfarello.

Crawford intended it to put the fear of god, or rather, Farfarello, into Nagi, and it did, but not in the way Nagi expected.

The man was bloody _boring_. Spending twenty-four hours with nothing to do but listen to Farfarello's rambling thesis on the flaws of modern theology erased his fear of Farfarello as a madman, at least as a violent madman, and created the fear of Farfarello as an intellectual. Now, when Nagi woke up to find Farfarello looming over his bed he didn't fear that he'd be disemboweled, but he certainly feared the lectures that came on such occasions.

It wasn't that Farfarello couldn't be dangerous, but he was like a dangerous weapon: usually inactive, but prone to reacting spectacularly if handled wrong. Only Schwartz knew how to handle him properly, and really, that was just because they had to live with him and didn't want to be murdered over their breakfast cereal. So instead of being murdered they listened to Farfarello comparing angelic and demonic power, passing the sugarbowl during the pauses in which he caught his breath.

Given what Farfarello was capable of, theology was an safe enough enterprise, at least for himself. When he got going, though, it could be downright deadly to others. Even Schuldig, who could be salacious about any and every subject under the sun, turned a little green when Farfarello started lecturing.

One of Nagi's favorite memories was Schuldig emerging from Farfarello's room after a day's captivity (Crawford had been enraged that time). He had a blank look on his face and he was amazingly quiet for the next few hours. It was probably safe to say that Farfarello was dangerous in any form. In one he was a blade slicing through flesh, in the other he was a cancer eating away at the soul.

Farfarello's tendency to lecture might be Crawford's reason for choosing him to talk to Nagi, but Farfarello's expertise was in mutilation, murder and religion, certainly not in sex. Nagi was reasonably certain that Farfarello hadn't had sex in the last four years, and probably not for a long time before that, if ever. Schuldig and Crawford, on the other hand, had sex nearly every night, and they were fairly--well, all right, Nagi got the point of having Farfarello be the one to teach him, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"The man inserts his organ--"

"I know how it works!"

The only comfort to be found here was that Schuldig was probably too busy torturing Omi to listen in on Nagi's embarrassment.

"The physical aspects of it, maybe, but certainly not the mental and spiritual ones."

Maybe if he banged his head against the wall really hard he'd black out and miss this.

"Sex is the sharing of bodily essences," said Farfarello, "the purpose of which is to bind two people together in a state of emotional communion."

In desperation, Nagi turned to the one subject that could always capture his attention--Omi.

It wasn't even that they had that much in common, aside from choice of career and an interest in computers. Nagi was quiet, sometimes even sullen, his mood ranging from slightly hopeful to dark. He was ironic to the point of sarcasm (probably Schuldig's influence), and he didn't like people, most of whom he found to be annoying and naive. In contrast, Omi was bright, cheeful and usually optimistic. The one thing that they had in common, at least the most important at this stage of their lives, was hormones.

Not that either of them had actually done anything yet, but Nagi had been getting the idea over the past few weeks that Omi might want to, which was probably what had precipitated this little tête-à-tête.

If Omi didn't still want to when this was over then Nagi was going to have a long talk with Schuldig or Crawford, whoever's idea it was. A long _painful_ talk

Farfarello had asked him a question and Nagi tuned back in to say, "What?"

"I asked if you've considered how having sex is going to affect you emtionally," said Farfarello calmly.

"You're just doing this because Crawford's too much of a coward to do it himself, aren't you," said Nagi miserably.

"Of course," said Farfarello, "now answer the question."

Drat. That was the advantage of talking to Schuldig. No matter how much he pried at Nagi's thoughts, he could always be distracted by his emotions, no such luck with Farfarello.

Nagi considered. If he did it with Omi he was pretty sure that most parts of him, and one part especially, would be _very_ happy. He told Farfarello this.

"That's not what the question means. How will your heart feel, how will your soul feel?"

Nagi didn't believe in souls, but telling Farfarello that would only prolong this, so he ignored it and focused on the first part of the question. How would his heart feel? What was that supposed to mean? It wasn't as though he could ask his heart, and since his heart often felt as insubstantial and unreal as whatever his soul was supposed to be, Nagi didn't think that he'd have any luck with the heart question any time soon. But he couldn't tell Farfarello that, and since Farfarello was thankfully not a telepath like Schuldig, he could be lied to. Living with a telepath made lying rather useless, so Nagi had gotten out of the habit.

"I think that my heart would be very happy," he told Farfarello boldly, a little amazed at his audacity, but willing to do anything to shorten his time in this hell.

"Good enough," said Farfarello.

Nagi blinked, that was...uncharacteristic didn't seem a strong enough word.

The door opened and Schuldig stuck his head in, grinning. "Having fun, klein-ein?"

He wasn't, but even Schuldig was a relief from Farfarello. He scrambled for the door, ignoring both Farfarello's faint smile and Schuldig's mocking laughter, making a beeline for the kitchen, and Omi.

\----

**Teaser for chapter four: Omi and Aya **

Omi explains the Nagi situation to Weiss. Aya doesn't really have an aneurism, but it's a close call.


	4. Omi and Aya

Omi approached the flowershop with trepidation. Nothing could be worse than talking about sex with Schuldig, but he was sure that Aya's reaction to his revelation would approach it. Telling himself that this was a good idea had been easy with Crawford's imposing gaze on him and Schuldig breathing down his neck, now though...

For Nagi, he told himself, and walked through the door.

"Where have you been?" Ken materialized from behind a potted fern. "Yohji had to cover your shift, and he'd had a date set up, so he's been bitching at me for hours!"

"Er..." How was he supposed to say this? "You'd better get the others."

Ken's expression immediately changed from outrage to worry. "Omi, are you all right? Did something happen?"

"Just get the others," he said wearily. Explaining this once would be bad enough, he wasn't about to do it three times; although repetition could be useful, after the first few times he might actually have it worked out in his own head before he began.

Ken's lips tightened. He gave a short nod and disappeared into the back room. Omi locked the door, flipped the sign, and with hesitation slowing his steps, followed.

They had gathered in the mission briefing room, which probably wasn't the best place to reveal this, but he was too tired to press for a change of location; trading shots with Schwartz, even just verbal ones, did tend to tire, and Omi felt like a stuffed animal that had had the stuffing pulled out of it, then reinserted and sewn up.

Ken was sitting in the desk chair, fingers beating a nervous stacatto on the armchair; there was a frown on his face, and at first he didn't seem to be aware of Omi's arrival, too focused on what he was thinking. In contrast, Yohji was stretched out full-length on the couch on his back with his head over the armrest. He looked at Omi from upside down, with golden hair stretching to the floor, and a grin on his face. Nothing fazed Yohji. Ken had once strewn all of Yohji's clothes on the roof, during a rainstorm no less, and Yohji had just smiled. The next day Ken's conditioner turned his hair pink, and that was even before Yohji discovered that the rain had shrunk the clothes, not that he stopped wearing them. Aya leaned against the wall, arms crossed, eyes unreadable as usual. Aya had ignored Ken and Yohji's ongoing war until he was accidentally caught in a paint bomb meant for Yohji, and then he put a stop to it, though Omi didn't exactly know how.

They were all his team, but Omi knew that it was Aya's approval that he needed in this. Ken and Yohji might not approve, but they wouldn't interfere unless they thought that he was in danger, Aya though... Aya's world was more sharply partitioned than the others. Right was right, and wrong was a neon orange paint bomb falling on you from the balcony.

Omi wasn't sure that he had enough of Aya's loyalty to allow him to blur those lines where he and Nagi were concerned.

He took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "Schwartz kidnapped me after school today." He didn't mention _how_ it had happened. Being accosted by Schuldig masquerading as a clown was a traumatic enough experience without reliving it.

The muscles of Ken's jaw jumped and Aya raised his eyebrows, but Yohji was the only one to speak. "That's going a bit far to get out of work, isn't it, Omitchi?" His laughter sounded forced and he slowly sat up, smile disappearing.

"Are you all right?" Concerned Ken, obviously angry, but not at Omi.

"I'm fine," he hastened to assure, "but," here he hesitated, eyes flying to Aya's, "I think you should know _why_ they kidnapped me." Unmerciful silence forced Omi to move on quickly, much as he might have liked to shift the burden of speech to someone else. "You see, the last few weeks I've gotten friendly with someone at school."

Aya and Ken just looked curious, but Yohji had a knowing look on his face that made Omi nervous. It was entirely too much like Schuldig's expression just before he said something guaranteed to produce embarrassment. The fact that he was able to identify Schuldig's expressions should be a warning that he was getting entirely too close to Schwartz, but if that was the price he had to pay to get close to Nagi then he would willingly pay it.

"And Schwartz wanted to discuss it with me."

"Wanted to--" and Ken got it. "It was Nagi, wasn't it?" His face was a study of incredulity and distaste. Aya was blank, and Omi wasn't going to look at Yohji, he wasn't, he wasn't...damn. Yohji was grinning, which was what Omi had expected.

"Yes, well, we do have some similar interests--"

"Similar interests? What, you both kill people?"

Omi winced. Obviously it was going to take some work to reconcile Ken to this. He was about to start when Aya spoke.

"What did Schwartz say to you?"

"They, well, Crawford warned me to be honest with my team, and Schuldig threatened to castrate me if I hurt Nagi." Of course, Schuldig had had a great deal of other things to say as well, but Omi wasn't going to mention that stuff.

"Crawford wants you to be honest with us?" Yohji voiced everyone's surprise.

"Yeah, Weiss factors into some of his long-term plans and he doesn't want us falling apart."

There was silence as everyone digested that. On the face of it, honesty with the team about their private lives was a good idea, especially when the team was more like a demented family, but everyone was paranoid enough about Schwartz to doubt the logic of following a Schwartzian suggestion.

Then Aya unexpectedly said, "If this begins to affect your proficiency as an assassin then you _will_ let us know, and if this relationship compromises your loyalty to Weiss, then we _will_ kill you." He said it in an emotionless voice, and he said it with finality, as if the question of the trustworthiness of Schwartz suggestion wasn't even an issue, and perhaps it wasn't. If Omi was willing to take the risk that Schwartz was merely using him, then Aya would let him, always with the knowledge that Omi would be the one to take the fall if the situation turned out badly.

Ken made a slight noise in his throat, but didn't disagree. Omi swallowed. He'd expected this, expected worse than this actually, but it was still a difficult thing to face.

Belonging to Weiss wasn't always easy, but it was all that Omi knew, and in a very real sense these men were his family. Not a conventional family, but Omi had never had a conventional family, at least not one that he could remember. It was too easy, after a week without missions, working in the flowershop with Yohji or watching Ken in the park, to forget exactly what they were, exactly what his family was capable of. It was necessary, in order to say sane, to strike a delicate balance between the killer and the innocent, and Omi all too often bounced back and forth between one and the other. It was Aya who reminded him now and then, when he forgot. He didn't always appreciate it, but it kept him steady.

He met Aya's eyes. "My loyalty to the team isn't going to change, no matter who I'm with." Because it wouldn't, because no matter how much he liked Nagi, no matter how much he might think that he could someday love him, he belonged to Weiss first.

There was a whisper of movement at the edges of Aya's mouth, not enough to be called a smile. "I know."

\----

**Teaser for Chapter 5, Omi and Yohji**  
Omi's preparing for his first date with Nagi, and Yohji's helping.


	5. Omi and Yohji

Living with three other men, even without a telepath, meant that you never kept secrets.  It was simply impossible. Going out prompted a host of questions, even more if you were dressed nicely.

Yohji didn't have to put up with this every time _he_ went out, thought Omi grumpily, it was terribly unfair that he should subject others to this treatment.

His plan of sneaking out quietly via the back stairs died a quick death when Ken appeared at the bottom of the stairs and Yohji at the top, cornering him. They bustled him back to his room, past Aya, who lifted his eyebrows, but didn't raise a hand to help. Bastard. Then Ken left him alone with Yohji. Double-bastard.

Omi had specifically chosen a time to leave when they should all be busy, precisely so that he could avoid this situation. He sat on the bed and crossed his arms, frowning. Yohji grinned above him and then turned to the closet, speaking as he went.

"Now, I know that Schuldig's given you The Talk, but I don't trust him to have gotten everything right, so we're going to go over it again."

Omi felt a rising panic. How was he supposed to ever get it up again if everyone kept talking about it? "Yohji," he said hurriedly, hoping to stave off disaster, "I really, really already know."

"You do?" Yohji turned and blinked at him in surprise over the top of his suglasses.

"Yes," between gritted teeth, "I think by now I know everything there is to know about sex."

"Sex?" Who said anything about sex? I'm talking about clothes!" He threw the closet doors open as he spoke.

"Clothes?" That was a step up, but still not anything that he wanted to discuss with Yohji.

"Yes, chibi," Yohji was flipping through the closet with ease, tossing things on the bed as he went, "if you're going on a date then you've got to lose that little-boy-lost look."

"It's not a--"

Yohji cut him off with a look.

"Well, all right, maybe it is, but all I want to be is myself, and what you're planning on putting me in won't be me."

Yohji sat on the bed, knees touching Omi's. "Omitchi, I'm not trying to change you, but don't you think that after all these years with Weiss you might be changed? You wear the same things that you did last year and the year before that, and what might have been wrong for you then may be right now. At any rate, it's worth trying.  
"Now," he pulled out a flamboyant green shirt with pink polka dots (the only reason that it was in the closet was because Yohji had given it to Omi and he had forgotten to surreptitiously throw it out), "how about this one?"

Omi stared wordlessly.

"Well, all right, so maybe that one isn't your style, but how about this one?"

And so it went.

When Yohji had first joined Schwartz he had driven Omi insane. He was like some sort of automatic set-up machine that activated if you so much as breathed. Despite protests he tried to take Omi shopping, he brought girls and boys Omi's age home, and he left books and magazines with lurid covers on Omi's bed and desk. Eventually, after Omi had taken to hiding in dark closets whenever Yohji was around, Ken intervened, and thereafter Yohji focused his attention on Ken.

A formal truce had never been declared, but Omi had assumed that he was safe from the Yohji automaton of love. Obviously, this was no longer the case.

He supposed that he only had himself to blame, if he had remained safely asexual he wouldn't be having this problem.

The pile on his bed was getting larger, but at least he had the comfort of knowing that the amount of horrible clothing in his closet was limited, mostly limited to what Yohji had given him.

"None of that suites you? Oh well, I guess we'll have to move to my room."

Then again...

"But none of your clothes will fit me."

"True."

Yohji was getting an altogether too familiar gleam in his eye.

"No shopping, Yohji, I'm supposed to meet Nagi in twenty minutes."

"Why didn't you say so! We'll have to try Ken's closet."

"Yohji!" Omi wailed as he was dragged out of the room and down the hall, "I am not a child!"

Yohji stopped and looked at him in an afronted manner. "Well of course not, that's why you get to wear stuff like this!" He whipped open Ken's closet and mountains of gaudy clothing fell to the floor: leopard skin thongs and sequined vests and vinyl bellbottoms; every piece was an atrocity of fashion, and none of it belonged there.  
Omi blinked. "How did all this stuff get here?"

"I put it there, of course," said Yohji, "I'm looking forward to his reaction, aren't you?"

Any other day, yes, today he just wanted to escape. Badly. "You cannot possibly expect me to wear any of that."

"Why not? It's perfectly--"

Omi wanted to interject that it was perfectly hideous, but as Yohji turned to gesture to the clothing he saw his chance. In three steps he was at the head of the stairs, but he could hear Yohji behind him.

"What the--?"

Yohji had longer legs than he had, he would surely be caught, unless...there was a thud behind him and a groan. He had a chance now, he was at the bottom of the stairs already, but now there would be two of them.

An unholy shriek split the air, and he relaxed. Yohji would be too busy enjoying Ken's horror to chase him, and Ken would be too busy trying to kill Yohji to worry about tampering with Omi's love life.

As he reached the sidewalk he settled into a walk. He had an entire night with Nagi to look forward to without the interference of Schwartz or Weiss. Life was good.

\----

**Teaser for Chapter 6, Omi and Ken.**

Omi and Nagi have a rocky start, but eventually true love (and teenage hormones) prevails.


	6. Omi and Ken

Omi was floating. Not literally, but he may as well have been for all the attention that he paid to his surroundings. He was halfway up the stairs when he heard a throat clearing. He looked around and found Ken sitting on the steps just above him.

Even Ken's sober expression couldn't bring him back to earth. Nagi had been--

Ken cleared his throat again, pointedly.

Omi sighed happily and sat down on a step, humming a little to himself.

Ken gave him a long look, then smiled crookedly. "I suppose it's going to be difficult to get Nagi off your brain."

Omi smiled. "You suppose right, but don't let that stop you. What is it that you want to talk about, Ken-kun?"

Omi didn't mind talking to Ken. Ken didn't try to dress him up, or treat him like a child, or an idiot, no matter how idiotically lovestruck he might be acting at the moment. Ken treated him like a friend, and he was always honest, no matter how much it might sometimes pain him to be so.

And at the moment he was trying so hard, so very hard, to be understanding.

"Well," he began, "maybe Nagi should meet the rest of us."

Omi gave him a look. "What, you mean like in a 'meet the parents' kind of way? Give me a break, Ken. Schwartz just made _me_ go through that, do you really think that I'd make Nagi go through the same thing?"

Ken shifted. "Well, that's kind of the point. There was a reason that Schwartz did it, and that reason applies to us as much as it does to them."

Omi responded incredulously, "You want us to be like Schwartz?"

"I didn't say that, but we worry about you as much as Schwartz does about Nagi, probably more, because you're not a telekinetic."

"Ken," Omi hissed, "I'm an assassin!"

Ken looked him in the eye. "Yes, and you're good at what you do, but there are people out there, the Schwartz' of the world, who are better, and now you're hooking up with one of them. That worries us a little."

Omi took a moment to gather his thoughts. There would be no point in striking out at Ken, no matter how upsetting his comments were. What he had to do was consider what Ken's intentions were. He took a deep breath. "First, I'm insulted that you'd imply that I'm not as good an assassin as Nagi is, and no, that's not going to work to break us up."

Ken blinked. "I didn't--"

Omi cut him off. "Secondly, if you're so certain of Nagi's abilities, then you should be glad that he's my boyfriend now, rather than my enemy."

"And if this whole thing backfires?" asked Ken slowly.

"Then I'm sure that you'll be around to kick his ass."

Ken grinned, "You bet I will."

They sat in silence for a minute, and then Ken said, "I think that that's the first time that I've heard you swear."

Omi said softly, "I'm still part of _your_ team, Ken, part of _our_ team."

Ken did not appear to be listening, he had a gleam in his eye. "You know, if Nagi is your boyfriend now--"

"Stop right there. I can see where this is going."

Ken was not giving up that easily. "But it's only fair, isn't it? And it would redirect Yohji's energies--"

"From you," finished Omi, "not that you wouldn't help too."

"Well, of course I would."

Ken was looking far to eager about this. Omi slowly backed down the stairs.

"Hey, where are you going?" called Ken.

"I'm going to warn my boyfriend that the pranksters from hell are after him." Omi closed the door behind him loudly.

For crying out loud, can you two keep it down? Some of us have to work tomorrow," said Yohji irritably from above.

A wicked smile grew on Ken's face. "Oh, Yohji, could you come down here? There's something that we should talk about."

finis


End file.
